Where I've been

Sheepish hellos from me as it's so very very long since I've been here

So, what have I been doing? Well, I returned to work full time, being an accountant for a charity and it sucked all creativeness from me. Then, it put me through hell from April this year - talking about outsourcing and then finally making me redundant. I officially finish on the 10th December but am currently at home trying to find another job and getting cared about the whole thing.

So, how about you guys (if anyone still has a link to me that is)?

I hate feeling the way that I am doing at the moment - scared, anxious, worried, unable to look forward to Christmas, concerned about money (I don't put the heating on during the day - wrap myself in blankets and wear a hat indoors etc etc). I feel like I could be getting depressed or going slowly mad here because there's a big part of me inside that is screaming help help help and scrabbling around in fear at what is to come in the world. Everything I see on the TV, every bit of news I hear on the radio just makes me more anxious.

Is it just me?

I can't eat properly with these feelings inside me - I'm full of fear and can't get the food down. Great for my weight but it means I don't have clothes that fit so that's more expense!